"Cops" in Suburbia

We have a cop that lives two houses down, so last night as I was working in my office and saw the cruisers in front of the house...thought nothin of it.

Until that is there were like FIVE of them.

WTF.

I'm from the hood y'all, this suburbia thing's new to me... so I head on out the front door to see what's up. The neighbors across the street had positioned themselves to make it appear as if they were relaxing on their front porch, but no, I'm all like (yelling no less) "Hey! What's up with the cops?"

It was about this time one of the cops (a really cute young one with jet black hair...a young John Travolta, circa "Saturday Night Fever") opens the back of one of the cruisers, and out comes one the neighbors husbands in cuffs.

While young Travolta is putting the dude in the back of another cruiser, all I can think, because I'm from the hood, is "Ah Hah, I knew he wasn't just energetic and shit...no one mows their lawn at 2:00 a.m. because they really love horticulture"

I forget some people are just plain crazy...not everyone's strung out.

By this time I've gotten more coffee (red Starbuck's mug) and I'm on the front porch across the street blowing the neighbors cover...loudly. I'm Greek, I can't help it.

I'm all "What happened, I missed it?"

They said, I shit you not, this is what they said, they said, well, it was HER actually, he was trying to hide behind a newspaper...She said, "I don't know...I try not to get in to other peoples business." 

My reply..."Well I do, want me to go ask?" and I acted like I was going to walk over there and...ASK!

She then said, because she doesn't know I really would have, "I think it may have been a domestic or something, she (the poor dudes biotch wife who doesn't know you only call the cops on a man if you FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE, ...NOT because he called you a fat whore) had told me they were having problems lately.

I look over at this point and there she stood...not a scratch on her.

Now I'm going to point out a few things here for those of you who don't get it....

Five cruisers, seven cops, all white, response time-five minutes.

Three years ago, in the hood, same scenario...

One cruiser, two cops, one black one white, (both eating a sandwich) response time-a week and a half.

Now you get it?

I left, I was out of coffee anyway. As I was walking back across the street, the cruiser with  crazy-possibly-strung-out-wife-beater-neighbor-dude in it, pulls away.

About 30 minutes later, my I-don't-get-into-other-peoples-business, neighbor is seen comforting the alleged victim in her front yard.

The up-side to all of this, is Al can basically run free like he's never been able to before. Three years ago I couldn't let him play outside at all, for fear he'd get shot, run over, abducted, (that hasn't changed) or any number of hood-like things.

These homes are close enough together that I could yell and my neighbors would hear. Good thing I'm not in a relationship huh?

Wonder if Travolta's married?

Maybe she'll bail her hubby out and they'll do the typical vicious cycle of Domestic violence...leading young Travolta right into my waiting arms...

I really need a job.