No Grey Poupon For Me

See that.

Bitch is goin back. Why?

I waited until both Al and Satan were asleep, right? Rolled her out carefully...swept the floor all clean first, didn't want my baby getting dirty.

Slowly I rolled, anticipating the full array of brilliant hues...fuchsia, magenta, deep chocolate brown...

when out of NOWHERE comes this ungodly color, (can't even show it on film, this isn't an adult site) someones attempt at humor no doubt, a hideous shade of early '90s MUSTARD yellow.

Look at the colors here...at any point would any sighted person say "Gee, mustard yellow would be a nice accoutrement."?

Oh the deception, betrayal, and humiliation of returning yet ANOTHER rug...all over mustard yellow. I grieve the loss of what will never be, not with this rug anyway.

The search continues, amidst a plethora of over-priced, poorly made, BORING carpets in my price range.

Am I to spend a winter on bare wood? Feet and back aching, as I toil day in and day out...working to care for my poor son...alone? Hmm?

Whatever.

Target on-line has like five million rugs...hope I can get my money back, Al has a fascination with tearing price tags off shit. I found part of it in his mouth...

Man...mustard, that just sucks bad. What luck. Oh well, at least it's Target...

I once took a coffee maker back that was six months old. Quit working properly because of all the hard water build-up. Cleaned it up, took it back, and said "I don't know what's wrong with it." Got a brand new one.

I know it's wrong, but will it get me fucked up? I doubt it. I hope not. Gosh, will it? What if it does? Shit, what if it does? Man, over lying about a coffee maker to Target...that would suck. Shit.

Man.

Shit.

Maybe mustards not so bad.