I have a depressed nine-year-old boy.
Is that even possible, for a child so full of life as Mer once was, to be depressed?
Last week, at the school we both loved so last year, he was suspended for talking in class. FOR TALKING IN CLASS.
He spent all day Friday in the principals office, missing the awards assembly, trying so hard to do his make-up work so perfectly. Each letter struggled to be equivalent in size as the last, each paper signed, dated and numbered.
He wants to please. He wants to do well. He is on an I.E. P. for a reason though, and my heart breaks they do not "get it", that his grades are pulling THEIR scores down so he is the enemy...my depressed nine-year-old-boy.
Last night in the bath tub, as I washed away the days make-up, hair color, hair spray, combined with the boy-ness of dirt rolling and knee skinning, he looked up at me with big sad eyes and said "Mom, I wish we could move in to our new house tomorrow"
"Me too baby, me too." (re-direct, re-direct)
I was able, just barely, to again turn his attention to decorating his room. Having found multiple interactive sites on the net allowing for extravagant dreams to be dreampt. Shaw Floors is his new favorite, where you can upload your own images, build a grid, then dress your image with any one of their tens of thousands of floor/wall covering options.
If I sit around waiting for someone to rescue us, it's not going to happen. This is a messy, complicated, legal situation. I probably have a good case, IF I had the time and money for an Attorney WILLING to go up against a guy as big as the seller.
The clock is ticking, and my kid is crumbling.
I'm a strong woman, stronger than most, but not all, women I know (you know who you are ladies)...but I cannot handle seeing my kid falling apart because of my stupidity, fear of confrontation, and inability to stand up for myself. Which in all honesty, is how we ended up living in someone's pool house.
With Mer having lost so much over the last two months, and needing me more fully than he has in a long time, going back to work on Thursday is hard, hard, hard. It will however enable me to make the necessary repairs to the house, rendering Mer-Boy's dreams...reality.
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