So I'm waiting outside The Mer's school, just like I do every afternoon with all the other helicopter parents, when out walks Mer, feet dragging, head hung low.
Now normally, even on a rough day, The Mer comes bounding out the door, down the steps and into my arms...this year has been different.
At least once a week a "Think Sheet" comes home with my kid, something always having more to do with Mrs. C's level of frustration tolerance, hormones, and or lack of B-12, and rarely anything worthy of the time it took to fill out her constructive little "Think Sheet"..I'm digressing here. But let me point out one thing further before I advance in this tale of woe - Mrs. C basically lied her ass off to me on the last "Think Sheet", claiming in her statement at the bottom of the page that The Mer had, and I quote "Punched another student".
I systematically lost it. First at The Mer, then at the wall, (the cat was missing at this point) then sat down and fired off an email of such self restraint, that Nobel peace prize should have gone to my ass.
In my email to Mrs. C., I relayed how concerned I was over this type of aggression from The Mer, and made an inquiry in regards to the possible source of over stimulation. Did Mer have any conflicts with this other student, perhaps we were were unaware of?
Mrs. C's reply to my email the next morning left me utterly confounded and at a loss for words. (a phenomenon once experienced during the seizure of the U.S. Embassy in Tehran during November of 1979) Her reply..."I'm not sure I know to what aggression you are referring to Ms. Snuffalufagus? I will be forwarding your email message to the Principal and the Lab teacher, as is school policy with a child on an I.E.P."
Didn't know what aggression I was referring to? Gee, I don't know, maybe the punching of another student is no longer considered aggression in the public school system, only packing heat and copies of The Anarchist's Cook book are.
Drunk from shock and awe, I dropped The Mer off and headed to the Principals office, where fortunately she was away at some Principals support group or something...I was in no condition to have a rational conversation with this woman, considering not five days earlier we had come together for an I.E.P. service meeting for Al, in which I THOUGHT we were all on the same page (Mrs. C. could not attend Al's I.E.P. service meeting because her father was dying, or some lame excuse like that)
I asked the office secretary if I could use the copy machine. She graciously complied. So I copied the "Think Sheet" and wrote the Principal a note saying "I'm very confused. DID my child punch another student or not? Would you please look into this for me"
That evening I received an email from Mrs. C.
In this email she gave me a more detailed explanation of the "Think Sheet" and her subsequent response to my first email:
"Ms. Snuffalufagus -
The Think Sheet is my own
document, for the single purpose of informing parents that there was a
problem during the day, but it wasn't "referral-worthy." It is my hope
to keep parents informed before problems justify referrals.
During a group math activity
in which students were surveying each other, Al air punched someone
next to him; I saw about five quick punches and he was smiling at the
time. I took him aside immediately to let him know that, first of all,
it was disappointing to see him lose self control during such
activities. But mostly, that making a fist and even pretending to punch
someone is not allowed at school. Because I knew that you would find it
alarming to see that Al had punched someone, I wrote the note stating
that Al and I had talked and that it didn't hurt the other person. If
there had been real punching, Al would have received a referral. Again,
the purpose of the note called Think Sheet is to allow parents and
children to have a conversation about the incident, so that they don't
become referral-worthy future incidents.
Please accept my apology for
the confusion this caused. When I read your memo mentioning agitation
and violence, I didn't realize that was your take on the Think Sheet.
Hopefully, I can be more clear in the future."
It's funny though her little "Think Sheet" did NOT say Al air punched' did it? Which brings us back to this afternoon picking my Oh-so-miserable little boy up from school.
By the time Mer had my arms around him the tears were coming and my goal was to clear him of the watchful eyes of peers and parents alike, then try and find out what had happened NOW.
The story is sketchy, the emotions are raw, but from what I can gather Mer wrote in his Language Arts journal, a tool specifically for writing your feelings, well...his feelings regarding Mrs. C's collective punishment of the class today by denying their participation in voting at the assembly...a punishment handed out because four students were talking in line as the class was queuing for the assembly.
No, The Mer was not one of the students talking, he claims, but was actually doing as was told because this event was so important to him. When Mrs. C. did finally let the class vote, near the end of the day, the journal was presented to Mrs. C. by another student who saw Mer write it...(the little shit). Of course Mer denied it vehemently, even to me at first. Someone else got in his desk and wrote it in his journal. So I asked him...how they spelled the "B" word. His responce:
"t-h-e-B-w-o-r-d"
The Mer doesn't even know how to spell bitch.
Maybe I should TEACH him.
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