Three Strikes Your Just Plain STUPID

I received a call from Mer's Art teacher yesterday morning, the call went as follows:
"Is this Mer's Mom?"
"Yes"
"This is Mr. Dumbass at Mer's school, I'm going to let Mer tell you in his own words what happened"
(pregnant pause)
"Go ahead Mer" (in the back ground)
"Um, I, um, was shaking this mask..."
"NO!, Tell her all of it" (still in the background)
"I...I...there was a mask I was shaking and..."
(Takes the phone from Mer, it's at this precise moment the top of my head blew off, but I maintained enough composure to ask Mr. Dumbass one question)
"Mr Dumbass, I still don't understand what the reason for the call is?"
"The reason for the call is, there are these plastic plates the children use for texture, Mer picked one up and acted like he was licking it, when I confronted him about the behavior he LIED to me about it, over and over and over. THEN, lied to Mr Shithead when he asked him why he was sitting on the bench outside the office."
"Is this for real, are you serious? THIS is what your calling me over?"
"Yes, and Mer has been informed of the charges against him, and he is being given a referral...I just wanted you to know"
(I was riding with my friend at the time, on our way to a meeting thank God, because as you'll soon see, I needed one quite badly)

I turned to my friend Jerry and said (so Mr. Dumbass would hear) "Jerry, can you take me down to Mer's school at 1:00, we have a problem?", to which Mr Dumbass on the other end of the phone says: "What's that?"
This is the part where that itty bitty teensy weensy bit of self control smacked into the top of my head on it's way out of my body, leaving a mess on poor Jerry's truck and psyche. You truly can jack with me all day long, all month long, hell SIX MONTHS long as the previous posts can attest to. But please, Oh pretty please do not fuck with my kid. It's just plain stupid y'all.

Download the_mer_referral_22708.jpg.pdf

"This is what's going to happen...are you listening Mr. Dumbass?"
"Yes"
"Your going to go to the office and pull Mer's Individualized Education Plan, your going to, unlike most of the staff at that school, READ it. Your going to read the (I may have said Fucking here) Behavior Intervention Plan outlined in the IEP, and I will see you at 1:00"
Then I hung up on the ass. The ass who by the tone of his mumbling through my ranting, had no clue there even was an IEP for Mer. Well golly, now he does. Now he knows he violated my child's civil liberties by removing him from the classroom, and in a nutshell, discriminated against a person with disabilities.

Of course once at the meeting, called upon to share, I realized I could not under any circumstances go to the school. I would make matters worse until I was centered enough to be productive. Remember Internet, I come from the John Wayne school of parenting...to fantasize about kicking in the main doors, six guns-a-blazin', and "rescue" my child from the educational prison that is the principals office...makes perfect since to me...PERFECT.

So I waited until school was out and prayed my ass off to what I don't know, it was more an act of surrendering to my own delusions. They don't like me down there, they don't like the fact my kid has an IEP, and is most likely the ONLY kid who has an IEP at this school. Most of my PTA moms are like "An I.E. what?"

So I didn't kick in any doors, but I did arrive a little before three, so at least the little guy would know I rescued him before the others. I walked into the principals office, and without acknowledging anyone but my son, motioned for him to get his things and come with me. Mer could tell by my tone I was mad as hell, so I gave him a wink to assure him.

"Go upstairs and get your messenger bag, I'll wait right here" (secretly hoping to see Mr's Dumbass or Shithead, but instead was greeted by the office secretary whom relations have already been strained with "Here's his referral" as she flitted past me, handing them out to the other little criminals in the office.

I made the mistake of opening this ridiculous document right there in the hall outside the office. Within minutes I had The Mer's Disability Law Attorney on the phone, reading the document to her.

"I don't get it" she said, "What code of conduct did he break?"
"Oh, haven't you heard about the new "Zero Tolerance on Pretend Licking" they implemented last fall? I mused "Yeah they actually take class clowns out behind the cafeteria and shoot the now. What's worse is what they do to liars...public lynching on the playground"

Comments

[insight is eyesight]

Sounds like a terrible school. Maybe you should take Mer out and find a better place for him. I can't believe those teachers are punishing your child for lying to them! What will they think of next, suspension for bringing a knife or gun to school? You have handled this is such class, it's not like you cursed at a teacher over the phone or went down to the school and called the secretary a "fucking bitch."

Oh, wait...you did.

[Maggie]

It annoys me and saddens me that children are not allowed be children in schools anymore. Even for a kid without an IEP this all should have been a non-issue - pretending to lick something is really considered that big of a deal? I truly am just at a loss and plain don't get it. Maybe if he'd licked another student who didn't want to be licked, but even that level of silly I'm positive wasn't much of a big deal, either. Now, spitting in Mr. Assface's face, that would have been a detention. Definitely.

[Stef]

That teacher had nothing better to do than to write up a referral for a nine year old boy acting like a nine year old boy? Good heavens, what's next? Detention for telling fart jokes?

Obviously, Mr. Dumbass forgot what it was like to be a nine year old boy.

[Chris Austria]

I work with students with IEP and I have five children. You have to be an advocate for your child. Teachers definitely need more training and resources so that they can effectively work with students who have IEPs.