Athena Vs. Abortion. Happy Birthday To You

When I was numb, I didn't pay much attention to what was happening around me (go fig) now I'm waking up and seeing all levels of insane injustices in the world.

My friend Lea called yesterday morning with news that blew my mind.
The one thing, well the several things you must know about Lea are, one...the simple fact this amazing woman is alive after all she put her body through is a miracle.
Two...Lea is GORGEOUS as the day is long, and Three...has the mind of an effin machine, able to recount dates, times, events, figures, names, places...it never ends.
Lea is STRONG and will not tolerate injustices, Lea will change them.

So here is the insanity we live in Okie-wise, where now it is LAW a woman seeking an abortion must undergo an additional step of humiliation and shame surrounding her body. As decided by a house full of men.

Lea, who WILL make big changes in this world, suggested we get a group of sober chicks together and volunteer to drive ladies across the state line who wish to not be SHAMED out of making a DECISION about their own bodies.

I got so upset, I started looking on ebay for a Polaroid to fix me, then I saw the cost of the film.

Crap.

So, the question I have to ask myself is this: Had I known at the time I became pregnant I was eventually going to lose my daughter, never hold her when she was scared, never brush our teeth together in the mirror, never have any contact, never know if she was well, never know if she looked like her brother, me, or whatshisname, never know if she ever learned her ABC's, 123's or to laugh...had I known all these things, would I have gone ahead and aborted her?

Hell yes I would have! That bitch stole my kid! If I can't have her no one can!
Damn, I wish I were healthier than this, but this is the ginormous resentment that lead to the PK slip, trip, collapse...

I don't really mean it of course, it just hurts BAD, because my children, my son is my LIFE...everything I do is about being a MOM. My life is totally on hold while I raise my son because that's what we DO as mothers. It's so utterly unfathomable to not have my other child, nor any contact with her, which is all I want. Contact.

Well toots, you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need...

I fought the males in my life nine years almost ago, to NOT have an abortion with Athena. I WANTED my daughter. I WANTED my daughter, I had a doula, I went to birthing classes, I had a baby shower...I WANTED my daughter.

BUT. Had I NOT wanted my daughter, I would have accepted the offer of funds to assist in an abortion, and I'd have done it. Period. The thought of these Pro-lifers enacting laws effecting my choices and decisions surrounding what I do or do not do with MY BODY...scares the hell out of me.

As it should you.

We have over 400,000 children in the foster care system in the United States, and it's growing every day. Women who cannot afford abortions, or who are shamed out of having them, women who have no business with five kids living off the system. Mothers who have no fathers for their children, then become a burden on the broken system, mothers who use chemical assistance to get through the bleakness of their lives, then neglect these children (because the disease of addiction doesn't give a FLIP about maternal instinct) and the beat goes on...

Who's going to raise these children to adulthood...y'all?

Comments

[Jonathan]

"Who's going to raise these children to adulthood...y'all?"

People like us.

[Linda]

It has scared me everyday of my adult life.

[Maggie]

I was reading about the law the day the governor vetoed it because it didn't even include an exception for rape or incest victims, but then the veto got overturned all inside of 24 hours, and my stomach turned, over and over and over. Sick. I hate to say it, but OK scares me sometimes. I've been following a lot of stuff for a lot of reasons, and yep, it just scares me some of the stuff that goes on.

[Angela]

I clicked on the link you posted and I have to say, that is the singlemost frightening thing I've read in a while. Only a bunch of men could have attempted to pass a law like that.
I've got much to say on the subject but I won't, because then it leads me to thinking of the forced sterilization that occurs in this country to this day (including people such as myself), and I want to break things.
Every time I read your posts about Athena my heart chips off into itty pieces and I wish I could console you somehow. All I CAN do, is throw warm fuzzy vibes out into the atmosphere and hope that the wind carries my energy to you.
Keep on writing in your unabashed way.. it is so powerful.. you are bound to bring comfort to others that are walking in the same shoes you've been wearing for so many painful years.
Love you. A

[Stef]

As usual, you blow my mind with another well thought out post. This is one of those subjects I usually don't touch with ten foot pole. While I believe that a woman should have the right to choose what happens to her body, it's a choice I would not make for myself.

That said, I think the law that was recently passed is wrong.

And that's my $.02