Was held right here in OKC this weekend ...and I didn't go :-(
Not that I didn't want to. Oklahoma has been bidding on this conference since at least '90 or '91 that I know of, and finally got it. This was a once in a lifetime event.
My friend Terry Carpenter, who died sober of chronic hepatitis wanted this conference so bad back then...but all we had was some small venues, a water park and western theme park. We sent him to bid even though we knew we wouldn't get it.
Back then, there was no "Bricktown", no "Cox" convention center, no downtown OKC as you see it today, and my friend, a man who pulled me out of the hood named Steve reminded me of that the other day.
I struggle with my anonymity on this website, I'm listed with recovery blogs, but I am and have been a member of "a certain non specific 12-step program" for twenty years. (not claiming continuous sobriety y'all)
Didn't attend the conference, because I live with chronic pain today, I've chosen not to rely on pain medication to do life. It sucks, but until they fix, or at least get this thing out of my back, I have limitations.
I have a child to care for, which means I must take care of myself FIRST. That's so hard for a mama of Greek origin to do. I have whined, bitched, felt sorry for myself. pouted, cried (no, I think it was a fake cry) over this conference.
Last night I finally turned it over.
My Sponsor Robyn and I took Mer-boy and her Nephew Frankie to see a movie.
Yes I wet my pants, but that's OK, we weren't far from home.
I let go of my expectations of going to the conference, let go of my expectations I can do everything I used to do. I cannot, not today, not yet, maybe never...but tomorrow is not reality.
I know when someone is doing this deal, because I see it in their actions.
We get sober and grow up, not get sober and live off others generosity or love, money or guilt.
We come in and do this deal and start helping others to stay sober.
It stops being all about me, me, me, me.
That's when the real miracles begin.
We give from our heart, our time, love, money, effort, whatever it takes to help another get on their feet.
We offer jobs, open our homes, lose sleep.
We stop the bullshit.
ICYPAA represents a year of hard work on the part of so many people who live this program.
Committee meetings twice a month, "Earth People" don't understand the challenge of getting something like this organized by recovering Alcoholics.
It's dedication and commitment unsurpassed by any other group of young people I've ever seen.
Sitting in the ICYPAA committee meetings, listening to young people I watched grow up, organize and tweak this event into something of International proportions...was nothing short of miraculous. I'm proud of them, proud of James B., Taryn G., and every single Service Chair, Volunteer, etc.
I'm grateful I'm a sober member of "a certain non specific 12 step program".
I was there in spirit you guys...all the way!
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