The 13th Apostol

The 2009 Memorial Marathon...(I hobble to forget)

Broadcast Journalism was something I wanted to do from an early age.
Watching handsome anchors on our bubble Zenith, feet propped on the screen...

Christianne Ahmanpoor changed it all for me, watching her rock the Middle East, believing I could rock the midwest.

So I did, the over achiever I am. I climbed that freakin mountain all the way to the top. Graduating head of my class against those "heads" who thought their good looks and anti-inflection would take them anywhere.

For a few it did, but not for me, April 19, 1995 changed it all.

A week in the media pit in a satellite truck editing raw footage of The Murrah Federal Building bombing left me unable to enter a 7-11 for two years. Let alone pursue my chosen career.

*************************************************************

This past weekend Mer and I "Ran" in the OKC Memorial Marathon.
It was more like I hobbled and pulled Mer, Jesus what a pair.
A broken mother and a kid with EDS trying to run a mile without stopping.
I "Fireman" carried Mer after his knees gave out, but by God he ran across the finish line.

Seeing the Dr. Yesterday I was scolded beyond belief. "WHAT were you THINKING?" (Uuuh, I wasn't. Mer wanted to participate so we did.)
"Do you have ANY idea what you may have DONE to your SPINE?"
(Uuuh, no?)

Chiropractor's are so emotional.

I'd hoped going back and facing the destruction with my child would've alleviated some stress. My goal wasn't so much to run as to face the fury. I usually don't go downtown unless I absolutely have to.

With summer approaching, some possibilities on the horizon, all I want to do is produce results, finish the house, get the hell out of here. Results take action and funds, but like running a mile it's still one foot in front of the other.

Mer ~ I'm so proud of you honey. You are my heart child...and, I love you more than anything else in the whole wide world.

Craig & Carter's Famous Fish Taco's...Oh Yeah Baby!

The opening day of the OKC Arts Festival couldn't have been better! Heated by perfect temps and clear skies of brilliant sunshine. Though none was seen from under the tent, the BIG RED TENT adorned with a symbol of So Cal flavor.

Yes ladies and Gentlemen it's CRAIG & CARTER'S FAMOUS FISH TACO'S partnering with WILSON ARTS INC.

It's that time of year again, and yes they're still the best (and only) Fish Taco's in OKC!

Has it really been a year since this? Oh my how time has flown...
Carter Tague, more dashing than ever, more the Chef than ever, more the guy-who-knows-everyone-in-OKC than ever...is dear to my heart.

Yesterday we had a tent full of wildcats disguised as PTA moms slinging Fish Tacos, and what a hoot it was. (I kept waiting for one of us to do a table dance, but alas, there were no tables)

As were all aging gracefully into this middle part of our lives, I'm always stunned by the people, the "Suits", the who arrive at the tent on their lunch hour looking so, so, so unhappy about their lives, so stressed about LIFE.

I watch as they try with every ounce of self-will and determination to not make a mess while eating a fish taco, searching with unmitigated vigor for the perfect place to take a bite...

Once craving over rides self-will and the palate is lit, elbows rise in futile attempts at keeping the chipolte creme' dressing at bay...a smile, no...a chuckle can be heard as the stiffness slips away, and LIFE and all it's messiness explodes in a delicious moment of satisfaction.

Many a dry cleaners will find a curious stain upon expensive sleeves this week, and wonder???

Apostol will be performing LIVE through Friday at the OKC Arts Festival, Craig & Carter's Famous Fish Taco's...

(Special thanks to Mike Pagonas at "The Peacock" for helping with parking!)

Eat Wise OKC Presents "What Bunnies Eat"

The Eat Wise committee, without a lick of help from "She who had no time", pulled together a phenomenal presentation to the 1st grade classes at Wilson Arts Integration School yesterday.

Watching these children become enthralled by vegetables, brought together in part by one of the teachers favorite books "Tops and Bottoms" by Janet Stevens, made it apparent a standard, circulating presentation like this is needed in each primary school in the district.

I watched the faces light up at the sight of a giant celery root, a shiny deep eggplant, the aroma of fresh asparagus, artichoke and fennel...their world opened up.

A child's knowledge expanded.
Senses were stimulated as all sixty 1st graders first saw, smelled, learned about, touched, and finally ate the vegetables on their plates.
When you educate a child's senses, something sticks for life.

Pulling the giant celery root from it's container yesterday, brought back the aroma's in my Greek Yia Yia's kitchen, the gardens I've plotted in the past, and the garden I'm plotting now.

The earth will sustain us if we utilize her gifts of abundance.

We can give a child a Nintendo DSi, or we can give them knowledge through expanded senses...and a hand spade. (or both with limitations)

I'm proud to be a member of a community of parents who believe things can change.

Nine-Years Later

I will always trust my gut, but that doesn't mean it speaks quickly.

I'm all for the Oklahoma Family Rights Coalition requesting an overhaul of OKDHS. There are individuals within the system who also agree this needs to happen.

When you are dealing with a system as poorly structured as ours, families inadvertently get hurt in the process. What I witnessed sitting in courtrooms for five years were mostly parents who didn't give a damn one way or another...they'd just go "Make more".

I watched fathers brought in from county jail in handcuffs, mothers who showed up for hearings dressed like they were working a corner, and showed no respect whatsoever to the man at the bench.
Between all the Attorneys, Guardian Ad-litems, CASA's, CSW, Therapists, Counselors...there were children's lives in the balance.

I'm playing devils advocate here, only for a moment so bear with me.

Yes, we know CSW, Fosters, etc., are all "Trained" to view parents as perpetrators under any and all circumstances. This is where the overhaul has to occur. A way to thin out the families who are doing no wrong, who are good parents and love their children to the core of their being.

Nothing like this exists. Or at least existed when my daughter was removed, but not my son...We were not bad parents or bad people. We were paying taxes, contributing to society, lived in an upper class suburban neighborhood.

The OBGYN who delivered my daughter attended the same church as the Foster mother where my daughter was placed at five days old (and who was eventually adopted by)

I pulled the page relating to my experience with DHS out of fear and embarrassment. You hear people whisper "She must have done SOMETHING wrong, you know" There are times I care what people think, and times I could give a rats ass.

Athena George turns nine-years-old on the 20th of April. This will be the first year I'm not sending gifts and a card. The first year I'm not going to grovel for her adoptive mother to hold up her end of the open adoption agreement. (sealed without my knowledge)

It's been nine years, it's time to let go of the dream Mer will have his sister to grow up with.

Athena will find us someday, and then she'll understand why she feels the way she does deep inside. All I can do for Mer is continue to love him and be there for him, but I'll never take the place of the sister he lost.

My anger towards the system runs deep, but I do my best to channel that anger into pro-active behavior. "Anniversary time" is the most difficult, as it is for any mother who's lost a child.

Any future contact will be made directly to the woman who illegaly adopted my daughter. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, knowing the brain washing, heart-string tugging, "Horror Films" perspective foster parents are shown of children living under porches of abandoned houses for months on end, scavenging for food.

I'll give her the benefit of the doubt because she avoided me for five years. Sending her aging mother to supervise all visits and pick-up/drop-offs with my daughter.

She had it under control as long as she didn't get to know me. As long as she could maintain the illusion I was a monster she could live with herself, but what about the child she claims as her own?

How is she going to convey her illusion to my daughter? What happens when we all finally see each other again and I'm not the monster?

How unfair this has been to my children.

Ronel ~ If you have nothing to hide I see no problem in allowing my children, at the very least, play dates you and I could enjoy together.
If the word "My" bothers you, you should've considered what you were doing getting involved with OKDHS. You could choose to stop living in fear you'll run into us at the grocery store, or that the children may go to school together.

Nothing changes the fact these children are full siblings one year apart.

Children are not possessions. They have their own minds, can make amazing choices given adequate demonstration of such, and will love you unconditionally unless you abuse their trust repeatedly.

Don't blow it with Athena please.

Messages

I get so wrapped up in a system of thinking, a passion for what is right, a belief I know in my heart things can change...one person at a time.

If I was sent a message over the last two weeks, I hope I've managed to send one back. These are perhaps a simple series of coincidences.(yet I believe the Universe is a divine mathematical equation, therefore nothing happens by mistake)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

After contacting our Congerss Woman's office immediately following DHS' informing me they "Knew last month" my son would be losing his benefits, I went in person to sign a "Privacy Release Act", allowing the Congressional Liaison's to communicate.

By Thursday afternoon our Congress Woman's office was telling me Soc. Sec. response was, and I quote "The address has been updated", nothing more. I was directed to go to Soc Sec with nothing but myself and tell them her office sent me.

On Friday morning I did just that, arriving early enough to have an hour and a half long conversation with a mother, an educator from Putnam City Dist. who was turning sixty-five. She had been the single mother of a child with severe ADHD for seven years. In a little over an hour, I was given the gift of one mothers story through the educational, federal, and local system...sometimes you're meant to be right where you are.

Once inside, their excuse for why Mer's Social Security was terminated?

Mer was up for annual review (which S.S. acknowledged I do without fail) When I changed addresses three years ago, someone only entered it in the system in ONE place and with a child you have to enter it in FOUR places.

Their explaination as to why I'd received mail peratining to Mer from Social Security since then was "the post office forwards mail for a year or so then stops" (No, I'm serious)

...of course they couldn't cut me a check right then like Mer's Disability Law Advocate directed me to request (they claimed it would take ten days for a check to be issued)...but he assured me it would be in Mer's dedicated account by Tuesday at the latest.

I will tell you this gentleman couldn't have been MORE apologetic, couldn't have been MORE polite and kind towards a mother who follows the rules to a fault.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

This particular story wont end until I know my child is cared for no matter what. (Completing my degree feels like a dream) I am not the mother I was ten years ago, nine years ago. I know my rights under the constitution. I know my child, as a person with disabilities is protected additionally.

Sadly enough, nine years ago I didn't know these things and part of me curled up in a ball and died. I refuse to curl up in that ball ever again.
However, I'm taking a long hard look at where my energy is best spent.

When an individual doesn't want to uncurl themselves, when they simply want to bellow about the unfairness of the world instead of taking action, when they cannot see past the end of their nose to what's truly best for their children, and thus take whatever measures necessary to correct their circumstances...you kind of have to say WTF?

It's like thinking that knight in shining armor is going to come rescue you from your own decisions.

Mer-boy's Social Security Case Closed With No Explanation

As of this morning I became aware, my son's disability was terminated.
No letters, nothing informing me this would take effect April 1st.

However, OKDHS knew in advance last month his case was being closed. (they've now raised his food stamps to nearly $300 a month)

Can you say "Harassment"?

You might think I'm ignorant for writing the truth when the way I'm able to keep my child out of state-sanctioned day care, provide adequate schooling, full parenting, extracurricular activities, shelter, etc., lies in the hands of (perhaps) individuals involved in less than stellar performance.

If we don't come together as communities and hold civil servants, social services, etc, accountable for their actions...nothing is going to change.

Nothing.

Does anyone know who the President of the United States is today?
Is anyone aware we all became sick and tired of being bullied by a tyrant?

So we stand up...and if they knock us down, so to speak, we stand back up.

My life is an open and clean slate with nothing to hide. Anyone who knows me knows everything I do is for the care and advancement of my son.

It's unacceptable to terminate a child's disability without notice.
Not without reason, suspect, failure to comply with Federal regulations, and by Social Security's violating of Federal guidelines thus take away from a child's quality of life...

...and no, I'm not going to be quiet now.

Local Parents Advocating For Their Children's Health and Nutrition

The vendor contract is up for bid for Child Nutrition Services.
Chartwells has carried the contract for the last five (count them) years.

This is a copy of the menu OKCPS children eat on a cyclical basis.

Download Elemluncmarch

Allegedly there will be an opportunity to have a new vendor set in place by July of this year. (cough, cough)

OKCPS Director of Purchasing was quoted as saying "selling a la carte items on the food service line brings in 'extra revenue' to fund the maintenance of school cafeteria equipment."  Some parents would argue that this money should come through the budgeting process.

"If there simply isn't any money available, there has to be a better way to raise it (PTAs, private/public grants) then selling cookies and chips to the 33,000 children in the OKCPS district who are receiving free or reduced lunch (their are 38,000 children total)."

New Orleans has the Edible Schoolyard, which includes The Kitchen Project a community OKCPS can only dream about at this time, some day coming to fruition.

Building these "Relationships" as you will, with the individuals in charge of feeding our children, is a matter of circumstance.
If enough parents cry out in awareness, rally to make changes "In the best interest of their children", this "Bidding Process" will be taken to heart.

The options are numerous, with 38 documented case studies of schools successfully altering they're nutritional service providers without falling short fiscally...and most importantly to the benefit of the children.

 Vermont Feed has established a farm-to-school program, whose mission statement:

 "Vfeed works with schools and communities to raise awareness about healthy food, the role of Vermont farms and farmers, and good nutrition. We act as a catalyst for rebuilding healthy food sys-tems, and to cultivate links between the classrooms, cafeterias, local farms, and communities."

In 2004 Congress made the pilot program, Produce for Better Health permanent...but it's only utilized in eight states and three Indian Territories.