I...should be at the pool. That's what I DO for God's sake.
Anyone who's ever known me knows...I go to the pool, and don't leave until September. (I tell everyone I'm 62 now)
DAMN...lookin good mama! Eh hem.
Digressing.
I haven't been writing because I became so wrapped up in this "Committee" to engage healthy foods in OKCPS, so busy trying to change the world instead of myself, kinda slipped my mind. These words are what heals my heart, what carried me through the day.
Now I lay in bed at night and worry about things like the A/C breaking, how I'll pay off monetary debts, what if the dog has worms, do others think I'm an odd bird, will my vegetables survive?
Sure sign of lunacy.
My front yard and court yard are a magical wonderland of lights and blooming so-far-haven't-killed-them-yet things. (photo's to follow)
Mer-boy left for Chalice Camp this morning it's been exactly five years since I began writing after I finished school....and many don't like the way in which I present my opinion here. I either am who I am for me, or I am nothing.
(If I was getting paid to write here, that would be a different story.)
Time seems to fly and work is picking up, committees, children, sunshine and good strong rains now and then. (I am OLD...I LOVE my Garden)
Never did I think we could make this place so wonderful after the loss of 44th street. Dirt under your nails is akin to baby poop under your nails.
One works diligently to raise a child to be a decent human being...then as it should be, they begin to push you away, need freedom and room to grow. One then has the choice of restraining that growth or encouraging it.
My father gave me good strong values as a child, then let me go. When I messed up, which I did on a consistent basis...he was there for me always.
I ran into Mer's "Pater" yesterday, and cried and cried in his arms. In public, in a circle K parking lot. I needed to I guess. Mer at Chalice Camp safe and having fun...the flood gates opened after the longest school year of my life. I feel strong again this morning (mentally) He's in a relationship.
I don't want a relationship, I've had my share.
What I want is good friends, a happy child, time to read, excellent meals, a clean office would be nice, and eight additional hours in the day.
As I'm walking through the discomfort of losses in my life, I walk barefoot.
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