Vagina's and Clitoris'...Mama Has a "Him"

The words, including "Penis" make Mer-boy squirm...and honestly, in a sick, demented way...I enjoy it. (why I don't know)

"Bad Mommy"...but really, we ARE Unitarian, and Mer has attended O.W.L (Our Whole Lives) sexual education. Nary a school chum refers to their appendage as a "Penis" though...therein lies the communication gap.

Me: "Well what do you want me to call it, it's no different than your elbow?"

Mer: "I don't know, just, just, just don't CALL it anything!"

Shit, pre-teens are a pain in the ass. When they aren't glued to the Wii, or a hand held (no pun intended) they have LITERALLY nothing to say, but "I'm hungry"

If I could ship his ass off to boarding school I'd do it in a heartbeat...then within the next few heartbeats I'd miss his obnoxious retorts so badly I'd fly to Switzerland and collect Mer myself!

Those of you who have watched Mer grow from a precocious four-year-old into a HIDEOUS eleven and a HALF-year-old, know what I'm talking about.

No more snuggling in the cold of the winter to save on heating bills..."I need MY space MOM" (Oh, no he did NOT?)...but, he did, and they DO, and we MUST let them GO!

As difficult as severing that umbilicus is, our offspring don't want to hear us use words like VAGINA, CLITORIS, and the God-forbidden PENIS...

it just happens, like while were making coffee one morning everything shifts...and we have to embrace the shift, as much as it means we will forever be alone, spinsters, with 47 cats all named "Kitty"

The bright side to all this is, as they age, they become EMPLOYABLE...rendering our paychecks for such things as "Blue seven", "Toms Shoes" (more than one pair) Denali coats, J. Crew to no end...

Wake up Mama, he's eleven. K.

So a few more years and then he won't call my boyfriend "It"...

and he does. i. e. "It" tracked mud in the house, "It" made a mess in the kitchen", "It" broke one of the solar lamps along the drive"

Baby boy..."It" kept Mama warm last night, and that's ALL, because "IT" happens to care about you like "It' does "It's" own daughter...

WE...LOVE...YOU...BOTH...

Take it or leave it kid ((HUGS))

Comments

[Randy]

Ask him if you can just call it a pee wee like my mom did.... Didn't cause me to have issues... no... not at all. I'm not jacked up